Letter 4 – Lt Col Jesse Arnstein USAF
Letter 4 – from Lt Col Jesse Arnstein USAF
Women in Afghanistan
One way the military society differs from the general American society is that there are far less women. Women make up about 15% of the personnel at my deployed location. Lack of interaction with women is much more noticeable on deployment than stateside since you’re in a military environment 24/7. Back home I interact with plenty of women off-duty and my best friend and closest confidant is a woman (Jill, of course).
We all wear the same uniform, and there’s not much difference in mens’ and womens’ duty performance. We live in separate buildings, but that’s about the only difference in daily activity. I have confidence that women soldiers will get the job done just as professionally and competently as a man would.
But there are some subtle differences I’ve noted, which usually involve personality. Women generally have a bit of tenderness, which is comforting in an austere environment. This softness is especially welcomed since we live in a former junkyard (still retains many of these characteristics), and are surrounded by dust, men, trucks, and guns. I miss the calming signs of nature, and occasionally steal away to an edge of the compound where there are a few trees, birds, and lovely weeds. I was excited to even see a mosquito! Speaking with women in a social setting can provide a comforting feeling similar to the aura in this corner of the base.
I asked one of the women in my unit what it was like to interact with Afghan men. Her response was surprising. She said the Afghans treat her with more respect than she gets from American men. Chivalry is alive and well here! She went on to tell me she has a 2 and a half year old son back in the USA. She volunteered to deploy for 9 months. But during her tour her husband filed for divorce. The pain of being separated from her young son is now accompanied by the agony of divorce. This reminded me that being separated from young children is typically more difficult for a woman than a man and must add to deployment stress.
My boss is Colonel Magdalena Rivera, the unit’s Chief of Staff. She grew up in Puerto Rico, and previously commanded a 3,000 soldier Brigade. She served in a dangerous part of Iraq for over a year and came face to face with death. She’s a great leader- firm when necessary, but generally easy going and inspires her subordinates to be self-motivating.
Staff Sergeant Amherst has three children, ages 3, 7, and 11. She is half-way through a 12 month deployment. She has spent 4 of the past 7 years away from her children due to what the military calls “a high ops tempo,” a euphemism for frequent involuntary deployments. She is now a single mom. When she deploys, her children move from Washington State (where she is stationed) to Southern California to live with her mom.
The children are very independent. The 11 year old is teaching the 3 year old to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.
Staff Sergeant Amherst is motivated by patriotism and duty to the United States of America. She says her children simultaneously bring her strength and weakness. Weakness because she misses them so very much, and strength because she wants to set an example of being resolute and overcoming obstacles- showing them not to quit when things get rough.
It must be tremendously difficult for the children too. Moving mid-school year occurs regularly, but they adapt quickly. Staff Sergeant Amherst says this deployment is more difficult than previous ones because the kids can express their feelings better now than when they were younger.
She perseveres, inspired by the hope that she and the children will have more stability six years from now when she is retired knowing that at that time they will be at the age when they will need her guidance the most. Spending time with her made me forget my own hardships, and increased my respect and admiration for the women soldiers.
Afghan women have undergone a transformation since the dark days of Taliban rule, when ALL women were required to wear head-to-toe burkas and be accompanied by a man at all times in public. Violations resulted in severe beatings. Women were not permitted to attend school, and hence there is nearly a generation that does not know how to read and write. Driving, voting, and employment were unfathomable.
In 2014, Afghan women are a vital part of Afghani culture and given great respect (and sometimes responsibilities) in Afghanistan. Afghan women hold prominent public positions in the new Afghan government as ministers and police. One of three school children are girls.
Unfortunately, violent extremists target prominent Afghan female public officials for assassination. Earlier this year the acting head of the Ministry of Women’s Affairs was shot dead as she was getting into a rickshaw one morning on her way to work.
My primary interaction with Afghan females is at a monthly bazaar held on our post. They range in age from 6 to 80; the younger ones speak excellent English, the older ones none at all. Dealing with most of these women is not much different from interacting with women in the USA. They are friendly, a bit pushy, and very talkative. You can see from the attached photos, they have no qualms conducting business with men.
I’m very proud that eliminating terrorists here has not only protected Americans, but has also granted freedom for Afghan women.
Last week I talked with Staff Sergeant Patricia Richardson, and it went quite a bit beyond your typical water cooler chatter. As we spoke, each chapter in her Afghan experience became more and more startling. She is a military policeman on her second Afghanistan tour. She previously served in Iraq. Sergeant Richardson is soft spoken, but confident. I’ve known her for about six weeks but she always just blends in.
First I asked her what it was like interacting with the Afghans. She said they are in absolute awe of females who do jobs traditionally performed by men. The vast majority of Afghan women lead very simple domestic lives, so the Afghan men are intrigued by female soldiers and often become giddy and friendly when they have the opportunity to talk. She is not offended by them, but rather amused.
On her first tour in Afghanistan, Sergeant Richardson was responsible for guarding prisoners at a jail and also worked on a poppy eradication team (Heroine is made from poppies, ironic pun NOT intended). (Afghans can make ten times more money growing poppies than cotton, and sometimes money generated from crops is the difference between a family eating or starving). Destroying poppies is a dangerous task, as it eliminates the livelihood of rural Afghans. As such, Taliban regularly shot at her team. Her best friend and several other soldiers in her unit were killed.
Three months after that tour ended she volunteered to return to Afghanistan. She suffered from survivors remorse- “why was I the one to survive?” Unfortunately, things didn’t go any better on this tour. Sergeant Richardson is a member of the security team that accompanies our unit’s vehicle convoys. On February 10, 2014 a suicide bomber detonated a car bomb that destroyed one of our convoy trucks. Two men were killed and another was seriously wounded. She led the first American response team on scene. She thinks about Rick and Andrew every day. Their destroyed truck sits partially covered by a tarp just outside our compound. I can see it from the door just outside my office.
This past Memorial Day was very personal for my unit. Most of the men and women knew Rick and Andrew, and they are pictured in office photos scattered through the building. Rick worked across the hall from me, and the door is eerily permanently shut.
A few different emotions are experienced at the ceremony. The remorse of losing people who were so close in heart; the thought of losing men who lived and worked just down the hall; it could have been me; I hope it’s not me next time; appreciation that I’m here to honor them.
And finally, God bless America and the women and men who defend it.