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Letter 2 – from Lt Col Jesse Arnstein USAF

Friends and Family, below are some thoughts inspired by my time in Afghanistan:

Wartime illustrates the worst of human nature- violence, hatred, evil, death. Dealing with terrorists captured on the battlefield initially tempted me to be cynical and jaded. But the more time I spend here, the more I see that wartime inspires remarkable unselfishness, magnanimity, and generosity in others.

For example, we are inundated with care packages from anonymous US citizens. My own friends and family have shown tremendous support for Jill, Aaron, and Sarah. They have also been tremendously concerned for my own welfare and have given me encouragement that inspires me to endure. The outpouring of gratitude is humbling and so very appreciated.

Lenore from Connecticut, whom I never met, just sent me two large care packages with Shabbos candles, grape juice, snacks, magazines, and air fresheners. Aleph, Kosher Troops, and another organization sent care packages for Passover. Pallets of girl scout cookies arrive regularly. We get so many cards from children thanking us for our sacrifices and their freedom. (By the way, no need to send me any care packages- if you want to help THIS troop, take my kids on an outing for a few hours, which will cheer them up and give Jill a break).

I wish more Americans would regularly embrace is how very fortunate we are to live in the United States. Here in Afghanistan the life expectancy is 44 years old and one-quarterof the children die before reaching age 5. Only 2% of the population is over 65 years old.

99% of the troubles we have at home would be virtually insignificant to these people.

I have become close friends with an Afghan named Doud. He is a few years younger than me and has 7 children (6 girls and 1 boy). When I asked him if he would like to emigrate to America with his family he immediately responded “absolutely.” “But Afghanistan is your home, where you grew up, and your extended family all live here,” I said. His American dream was not based on prosperity, rather sheer safety. He explained his dire concern that after the soldiers leave, Afghanistan will go back to the way it was before 2001- constant violence and fear for one’s life and family members lives.

He explained how children are so badly affected by the violence. He himself had to support his family following 8th grade. He told me about constant rocket attacks, up to 2,000 a day, and constant fear of death.
War also affects the ability to earn a living. He told me a story of how 15 year old girls have to marry 45 year old men because they don’t have a dowry. He works very hard, but only makes about $100 a week (which is quite a bit more than the average Afghan earns).

He is eager to have anything American. We compared English and Pasto newspapers, looking at the pictures and explaining to each other what the story was about. I gave him a baseball for his son and they loved it.
Hearing these stories from a friend is sobering. For the Afghans, America is not so much about liberty, prosperity and the pursuit of happiness, rather it is the dream of not living in constant fear you or your family will be killed on any given day.

In early May the attack sirens sounded and I ran into a bunker (didn’t jog, I RAN). Fortunately it was just a drill. Alongside me in the bunker were 5 Afghans. One spoke Englishquite well and we had an hour-long conversation. He told me about his life, which is difficult: he cleans the showers on base and has one day off each month (which is the norm for most Afghans that work at military compounds). Each day he is gone from the house for 14 hours. He showed me a pay stub reflecting earnings of $1.62 an hour. He has a wife and two children. Their house/shelter has sporadic electricity and he is fortunate to have running water. But there is no heat, and even making a fire is difficult as the wood is expensive. His kids want to play with him, but some nights he’s just too tired.

He told me stories of a co-worker who jumped in a cab on his way to work only to find two other people in the cab, one of them pointed a gun at him and the car drove to a far away location in the mountains. They told him this is his only warning; if he continues to work for the Americans they will murder him and his family. There are others that return home to find a notice taped to the door from the Taliban stating if they go to work for the Americans, they and their families will be killed.

My new friend said even though life is very difficult and he will have trouble finding work after the base closes, his primary concern is his family’s safety. It’s been 30 years of war for him, almost his entire life. He could live in poverty, but the fear was far worse.

When the drill ended I gave him some extra packaged food I had. He mentioned if there were any clothes or items I wanted to discard, to please give them to him.

This man was so kind hearted, and eager to reveal personal things about his family, religion, and lot in life after knowing each other less than an hour. This is not unusual amongst the Afghans, who are a very warm and caring people. It’s unjust they have been born into such difficulties.

Another Afghan friend of mine explained how dangerous it can be to work for the NATO coalition- sometimes there is no warning. He told me of workers at a nearby compound that were kidnapped by the Taliban on the way to work and murdered because of where they worked.

The Afghans, particularly one’s living in rural parts, have to make choices that are absolutely unfathomable to Americans.

Some poor remote villagers have sold their sons to the Taliban in exchange for food. The only other choice was to starve. Utterly heartbreaking.

Natural disasters are yet another scourge on the Afghans. On May 4, a double landslide first buried an Afghanistan village of 2,000 people. In a rescue attempt, almost 600 people from a nearby village volunteered to help dig people out, but a new landslide occurred and consumed many, if not all, of them, too. Digging them out was impossible and a mass grave holding thousands of people was declared. Even a wedding ceremony was waylaid in the slide.

Despite the hardships, most Afghans are very generous. A friend of mine gave me a new Afghan hat (see photo) and scarf just because we are friends. He always gives me a big hug when we see each other. He always asks me to join him for a cup of tea.

Last week I lost my sunglasses and an Afghan found them. I offered him money as a reward but he refused to take it. I pressed him for some way to repay the favor- there was just one request, he wanted me to assist him with getting permission to take discarded plywood from the Post so he could build a shelter for his family.
I also have friends from other countries. My friend Nirmal from Nepal is very eager to live in America so he can have a steady job. Like many of the third country nationals working here, he is separated from his wife for over a year. My friend Marley (female) is from Philippines and has not seen her two children in over two years. Prior to Afghanistan she worked in Iraq. She has no other choice since unemployment is so high.
The sacrifices these people make is tremendous. Sacrifices that most Americans would never dream of having to face. Yet I pause to reflect, and realize most Americans (including me) are actually NOT so removed from these situations, as many of our European parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents faced similar dire predicaments. They were blessed to become American immigrants. And we are blessed to inherit their good fortune. I hope all can find their own way to pay back America.

Some Americans think that the military is not necessary. We have our freedom. We have our prosperity. Now more than ever, I believe if we did not have a powerful military our nation would suffer the violence, insecurity, and instability found over many parts of this world. Look at the Russian incursion into Ukraine. They (or some other powerful force) would be aiming for America if not for our military muscle. No doubt The Soviets would have steamrolled America just as they did half of Europe during my parents’ lifetime.
And America’s military power discourages despots and dictators from invading other nations or practicing genocide. Human nature has a very dark/evil side, and our military strength certainly helps repress those urges. Because we don’t see a threat now, it’s naïve to think one would not exist in the absence of our military strength.

I miss Jill and the kids a lot, even though I now recognize my sacrifices are nearly insignificant to those around me. Our song is “I guess that’s why they call it the Blues,” by Elton John. I encourage you all to watch the video on utube- it captures the feelings of a couple separated by military service, even if it’s overly dramatic.
Finally, ending with a tragic incident here illustrating the juxtaposition of evil and benevolence in war: At the end of April a terrorist opened fire in a Kabul Cure International Hospital run by American volunteers. He murdered three people, including a father and son (Jon and Gary Gabel of Chicago). The terrorist shot himself in the stomach after the attack but was saved by the Cure Hospital staff.

May we never come too close to the horror of war, and thank G-d that US soil is far from the battlefields.